You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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