i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i will never coherently bang her
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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