before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
