I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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