i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
