I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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