okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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