HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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