I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just saw a hot homeless man
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
