i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize