Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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