he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
