Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
