Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
