I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
