So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
