i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
