well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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