Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
