My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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