So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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