I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
