am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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