Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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