Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
