don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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