she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
