i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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