I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
