True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize