what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so let's talk penis.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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