Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
