It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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