is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize