holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
