he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
