im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
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