just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
