My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
