I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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