3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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