Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
