Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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