Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
