i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
