There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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