Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My pussy is not your playground.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
