I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize