We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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