I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
