try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you traded sex for a burrito?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
