there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you will always have a special place in my vag
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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