She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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