Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
