How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
