I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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