Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
