Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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