turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
