i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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