i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize