An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize